We talk about how our children watch and listen to our interactions with others, but what are they witnessing in your interaction with self?
I had just come home from a run to my favorite mom store, Target (hehe) when I dropped my bags at my front door. Almost as quickly I remembered that I had candles in them.
Ok... real quick
Do you all know how good Target candles are? I mean they intentionally place those $5 soy candles right by the checkout lanes *argh*...I digress.
Back to my Target run...
After I dropped my bags, my first response was to fuss at myself for making the mistake and then I stopped, took a breath and offered myself this, "You made a mistake. It's okay. Check on your candles."
Do you ever have moments like these?
Do you ever stop and adjust how you're speaking to yourself?
Have you ever considered whose voice is speaking to you? (No I don't mean you're being used as some time of spiritual medium. I mean who used to speak to you in this way?)
I've noticed that sometimes I speak to myself in a voice of authority. I can also admit that I've used this voice in my parenting. When I trace back its origin, it was introduced to me in my childhood. My good choices were met with praise but my bad choices were met with scolding. (Maybe I need a second blog for this good bad binary because we, I mean I, need to let this go.)
In the moment when I came into my house I realized, a few children were listening to how I respond. My children who are growing girls that are learning how to navigate through their own relationship with themselves and my little girl, my inner child who still subconsciously awaits the reaction that was familiar in my childhood.
Making the choice to respond to myself kindly interrupts that pattern of chastisement and introduces myself to a softer more loving tone. It also offers to my children that there are other responses even in the midst of frustration or anger.
Situations, like the candle situation, may be small, but it is through our small situations where we learn to practice and gain momentum for our larger situations.
I ask again, when you're speaking to yourself, who's voice are you speaking in? Are you okay with the response? If not, today is the day to change it. It starts with a choice to respond differently.
I wish you luck on your journey with self. Please feel free to share your experiences and if you need guidance on healing your inner child, I have a free meditation available on the app Insight Timer. You can CLICK HERE to listen.